I've experienced childbirth twice and both were 2 very different situations. My first pregnancy I had my husband with me. Things eventually didn't work mostly because he was jobless and not looking, forcing me to go back to work when our son was only 3 weeks old. I'm sure I was bitter about the circumstances and we grew apart at an alarming rate, so much so that I was raising our son, Darius, by myself by the time he was 3 months old. After 2 years of being broken up we tried to make it work again and I got pregnant within a month. When I was 5 months pregnant he was gone and I was left with not only 1 child to look after, but 2.
After I had my daughter, Tamaya, I realized it was so much simpler with Maurice, the father, out of the equation. Like the article, "Is There Love After the Baby?", where new parents are trying to make their relationship work and half failing miserably, I found that I was able to devote all my attention to my kids instead of trying to make my man happy at the same time. I'm not saying every relationship where theres a child involved is or will become like mine, I'm just saying I've experienced raising a child with the other parent and on my own. I've got to see what it's like from both sides and I am content with the decisions I've made even though its the hardest job I've ever had to do.
I am also a single mother of two and it takes everything you have. I agree that having an unequatable and unharmonious relationship can actually make the job of parenting more difficult. Although it is not what I planned, I have found contentment in being single and devoting my time to my children.
ReplyDeleteI too am a single parent of an amazing 12 year old boy. I also was in a very unhappy relationship that I felt was unhealthy for my son to see. I did not want him to think that a marriage is never saying anything nice to eachother and never showing them you love them. I feel that if you truly love someone then you will even love their flaws, always want to hold their hand and show them everyday how much you love them. My son now has a good relationship with his dad, but only because he is forced into being the parent when he is the only one their. Before the divorce he would come home and check out in his recliner. Never do anything with his son and always make an excuse not too. So the divorce not only made us happier people, but it gave my son his dad back.
ReplyDeleteIsn't that funny that when a man doesn't have their woman to depend on it FORCES them to step up? Like its such a hassle to be with the child they've created and it usually takes them a while to get it together in order to develop a relationship thats stable between them and the kid/s. I believe the end result is better too when both parents are happy and investing more time in the children.
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