Grateful

     I really enjoyed the topics and themes we've discussed in Lifespan Psychology. I wish I would have done some things different such as investing in a computer beforehand. I could have taken my time on subjects I found fascinating instead of being rushed when trying to squeeze library time in between school, work and children. The topics I found most interesting were the development of the teenage brain, the alzhiemer's videos, and any topic about young children since I was able to relate and compare discussion to my own life. 
    This was my first online class and I have to admit it was a very different experience compared to in class teaching. What I enjoyed most was the freedom to do whatever you needed to whenever you wanted and participating in discussion. Seeing what people thought of your take on things was pretty cool and being able to let people know what you thought about their point of views, these things don't happen as much during in class discussion. What I enjoyed the least was not having as much guidance or having someone telling me I'm messing up. Like when I wasn't replying to the article reviews in the beginning of the quarter (oops!)
      All in all, I'm grateful for this experience and a great teacher and a great group of people to expand and share ideas with. Thank you!!!

As Good As It Gets

      Reading this article and how the Netherlands takes care of their elderly was enlightening. Anderson says, "Their attitude is, we're in this together and sooner or later we're going to become older and we'll need some help...the U.S. attitude is, we're all rugged individualists and we're going to take care of ourselves, not others." I love the citizens of Netherlands point of view. It's true that we're all going to get older at some point or another so we might as well help each other out right? It would feel so good to know that fellow Americans had this mind set and it would be relieving to know that people genuinely cared about one another. Obviously our healthcare could use some work because many of us don't even have health insurance and the costs are insane and almost impossible to pay when we do get hurt or sick. The U.S. is very good at the rate in which they see and help people, whereas the Netherlands have long waiting lists for procedures. Although the taxes in the Netherlands are extremely high it's an acceptable part of the life that they've created for themselves and each other, ensuring that they have a more comfortable and stress free retirement. The taxes they pay ensure they get the perks that come with old age as well as their pension. Maybe, we as Americans should take some notes on how to treat eachother.

Is There Love After Baby?

      I've experienced childbirth twice and both were 2 very different situations. My first pregnancy I had my husband with me. Things eventually didn't work mostly because he was jobless and not looking, forcing me to go back to work when our son was only 3 weeks old. I'm sure I was bitter about the circumstances and we grew apart at an alarming rate, so much so that I was raising our son, Darius, by myself by the time he was 3 months old. After 2 years of being broken up we tried to make it work again and I got pregnant within a month. When I was 5 months pregnant he was gone and I was left with not only 1 child to look after, but 2.
      After I had my daughter, Tamaya, I realized it was so much simpler with Maurice, the father, out of the equation. Like the article, "Is There Love After the Baby?", where new parents are trying to make their relationship work and half failing miserably, I found that I was able to devote all my attention to my kids instead of trying to make my man happy at the same time. I'm not saying every relationship where theres a child involved is or will become like mine, I'm just saying I've experienced raising a child with the other parent and on my own. I've got to see what it's like from both sides and I am content with the decisions I've made even though its the hardest job I've ever had to do.

Should We Stay Together for the Kids?

     This article really made me realize things about myself that I hadn't really accepted or given much thought to before. I grew up in a broken home and when my parents marriage ended I was actually thankful. I was sick of the fighting that would often result in physical abuse and the verbal abuse was normal to me. Watching this kind of relationship while growing up was more detrimental to me then I ever knew before. Maybe thats why my relationship didn't work because I was looking for love in all the wrong places which is what can often happen to children from broken homes as they enter adulthood.
    I think parents should definitley stay together for the children if there is no forms of abuse or drug-use in the home. Parents should try to give it their all and stick it out with their partner in order to maintain their children/s overall health and well being. The article says that, "children of divorce suffer depression, learning difficulties and other psychological problems more frequently than those of intact families."
     After reading this it made me anxious because I am a single mother raising two young children. Is there no hope for my kids? Well, there is. With our schedule being routine and with my strong sense of self it helps the children respond positivley to life situations. I'll just keep doing what I'm doing as a single mother and everything will be just fine.

Identity Development

     In Erickson's Stages of Psychosocial Development, his fifth stage of Identity vs. Role Confusion, truly defines what's going on during this time in a person's life. In adolescence, we begin to develop different identities other than the identities of our family members, and try to understand our true sense of self, who we are, what we stand for, and what we want to do with our lives. As we experience different things we learn something new about ourselves that helps us better understand our identity. This is a lifetime process in learning who we are or as Erickson says, is a "forever-to-be-revised" sense of self.

   Growing up I always wanted to have and/or do things that was different from everybody else. I was the first person in my school to get their navel pierced when my mom took me at the young age of 13. Followed by the peircing of my tongue at 14. By getting peircings I was in my own way expressing myself. I never followed a particular crowd and got along with all kinds of different people and personalities. I don't remember ever spending that much time withdrawing into my bedroom which I guess is a common habit performed by teens. During my teenage years I was extremely angry and I'm very thankful I found a way to channel that anger through sports. If I didn't have my school soccer and track teams I really doubt I would have graduated high school because I wouldn't of had to maintain a certain GPA in order to participate in any extracurricular event.

    I feel every teenager should participate on some sort of team whether it be a sports team or math olympiad. By doing this we have to trust the people around us and accept our peers as people we can have faith in, which all adolescents look for and need during these crucial years of puberty and in finding their own identities. By performing on a team I believe it will make the path towards finding the identity we all look for as a teenager somewhat easier and also more fullfilling.

Parenting Styles

I love how the content of this Lifespan Psychology course continues to intrigue me. With each new subject I learn a variety of different subjects relating to human development that I never knew before. In Chapter 7 of our text I was shocked to find out that there was actually names for the different styles of parenting. I knew from watching parents with their children that not everyone has the same ways of discipline or ways of expressing emotions with their children but to actual know there were labels is pretty fascinating.

I wish every parent was required to take a parenting or human development class. This would improve the quality of our children's lives for generations to come. I know we would all like to think we fall under the authoritative parenting style which combines a fair degree of parental control with being warm and responsive to children. Authoritative parents also explain rules and encourage discussion. What parenting style do you think you fall under?

Personally, I am really good at explaining to my children why I don't want them to do something or why they are in trouble. If I notice my child isn't happy about something whether it's regarding my decision or something that might have happened at school I patiently encourage conversation about feelings and solutions. Most of all I have a very positive demeanor that tends to make hard situations a little lighter. Sometimes I fall under the authoritarian parenting style which combines high control with little warmth. These parents lay down the rules and expect them to be followed without discussion. Sometimes, if I have said what needs to be said then I expect no more argument. As a single mother that works and goes to school, it can be hard to not slip into this category when I don't feel like explaining my decisions or when I don't think before overreacting about a mess and handling it in the wrong way.

From reading this material I learned that most parents fall under more than 1 category throughout life and as children age our parenting styles have to change and alter and grow around them. All I know is that I'm going to keep being the best parent I know how to be.

Americans Depend on Them

   I was extremely disturbed by the article, "The Migrant Child." The information alone is enough to touch anyone but I was more upset at myself for being so naive. I'm sure I'm not the only one that takes where our food comes from for granted. Just a trip to the grocery store and we've got what we want for a snack or a meal to feed our families. 
   Americans depend on migrant farmworkers for the economy of agriculture. If we depend on them for the majority of our fruits and vegetables, then why are they the most neglected groups of our nation's poor? A typical migrant family earns less than $5,000 per year, according to Young Children, (2001). Way to show our appreciation, huh? I had no idea there were still families in this day and age that work so hard with little to no help from their communities.
   Since migrant farmworks have to move so much in order to follow the crops, the migrant farmchildren are the ones who suffer the most. The article says, "When children's homes keep moving and are determined by changing employment, their development can suffer. And constant moving may contribute to feelings of mistrust and isolation in young children. They may have difficulty forming attachments with other children and adults." This goes back to earlier topics we've covered, trust vs. mistrust and secure attachments. I agree 100% that childrens abilities to trust and form attachments are critically impacted by the constant moving and never knowing where they'll end up or how long they'll be able to stay in a certain place.
   The constant uncertainty of a migrant child's life is unfathomable. I can't imagine the cycle of poverty, or the poor health and education of migrant families ever changing if they remain invisible and we, as Americans, remain conveniently unaware.

The difference between boys and girls??

          The article, "What's the difference between boys and girls?" fascinated me! I'm sure I loved reading it because I have two children, one of each sex. I get to witness what is so called, "gender appropriate," and what isn't, every day.
          My son Darius, who is 5, has always been an extremely rambunctious child. We own every Hotwheel imaginable and Power Ranger toys can't be manufactured fast enough. My son is a boy to the max down to his core, no questions asked, until... he asks to watch a Barbie movie or wants me to draw him a picture of Strawberry Shortcake. In the article, Deborah Blum's son asks for a Barbie, well, so has Darius, although for different reasons than chopping off her head. I ended up buying him a Ken doll that he only played with for 5 minutes. I have to admit, like most parents, I hesitated to buy him a "gender inappropriate" toy. In the end it came down to one question, who am I to decide what toy is right or wrong for my child to play with? Because media says so? Because our culture says so? No. A child is only a child for so long, innocent from the gender restrictions yet to be put on him by his peers and what they say is socially acceptable.
             My daughter, Tamaya, who is almost 18 months, has also been a very energetic child from the minute she was born. Tamaya is very vocal but I guess when a girl wants something she doesn't hesitant to let it be known. I always wonder if Tamaya would have turned out different if she didn't have an older brother to look up to. She will tackle him to the ground and wrestle with him before she picks up any type of doll. I am shocked at how tough that girl is already! I was a tomboy growing up so my next question is this...Is she ramunctious because she has an older brother or because its in her genes? I think both.
        I have found that Darius needs more one-on-one attention where as Tamaya will do what she wants and is stubborn in her ways without as much guidance. Like Deborah said, "We can influence our children...not by force, but by guidance."

Sense of Self

          First of all, I chose this article to respond to because I can really relate and connect with the information on a personal level.

        Everyone has their own set of genes that they inherit from their parents that gives them certain personality and behavior traits. I strongly believe that the environment around you shapes what genes will take control and which ones will take a back seat throughout life, or in other words be dominant or recessive. A child would be a totally different person if raised in a small town in , let's say, South Dakota then if he/she were raised in New York City.

        When Thomas Hayden says, "The child's genes often set the tone of parenting, parents behavior reflects genetic differences in their children." This is so true. My five year old son is an extremely rambunctious boy who has always been a handful. I have tried everything as far as discipline goes and nothing seems to get through to him. If you approach an overly impulsive child with a frustrated attitude, it's not going to solve anything. I changed my whole approach on how I was disciplining him and my methods, as well as his behavior have improved dramatically. 

          I get down on his level and I give him a few choices and tell him what happens is up to him. He has the option of choosing to pick up his mess, (the reason why hes in trouble in the first place), he can go in the corner until hes ready to come talk to me about what he's done and what hes going to do to fix it, or he can go lay down. I believe this method helps children learn how to self regulate their behavior by having them decide a just punishment.

         The Sense of Self, by Thomas Hayden identifies that if the metabolism of the brain chemical serotonin is lower than normal, the individual will demonstrate impulsiveness, risky behavior, and bursts of rage. My son displays all of these characteristics at some point or another throughout the day.

         Since my son exhibits these behaviors is he more prone to depression and alcoholism? Both of the illnesses have been linked to lower than average serotonin levels.