Everyone has their own set of genes that they inherit from their parents that gives them certain personality and behavior traits. I strongly believe that the environment around you shapes what genes will take control and which ones will take a back seat throughout life, or in other words be dominant or recessive. A child would be a totally different person if raised in a small town in , let's say, South Dakota then if he/she were raised in New York City.
When Thomas Hayden says, "The child's genes often set the tone of parenting, parents behavior reflects genetic differences in their children." This is so true. My five year old son is an extremely rambunctious boy who has always been a handful. I have tried everything as far as discipline goes and nothing seems to get through to him. If you approach an overly impulsive child with a frustrated attitude, it's not going to solve anything. I changed my whole approach on how I was disciplining him and my methods, as well as his behavior have improved dramatically.
I get down on his level and I give him a few choices and tell him what happens is up to him. He has the option of choosing to pick up his mess, (the reason why hes in trouble in the first place), he can go in the corner until hes ready to come talk to me about what he's done and what hes going to do to fix it, or he can go lay down. I believe this method helps children learn how to self regulate their behavior by having them decide a just punishment.
The Sense of Self, by Thomas Hayden identifies that if the metabolism of the brain chemical serotonin is lower than normal, the individual will demonstrate impulsiveness, risky behavior, and bursts of rage. My son displays all of these characteristics at some point or another throughout the day.
Since my son exhibits these behaviors is he more prone to depression and alcoholism? Both of the illnesses have been linked to lower than average serotonin levels.
My oldest daughter sounds a lot like your son. She is now 10 and is working hard to try to control her impulsive nature. We had to learn to parent her differently, the old-school ways were completely ineffective with her. Unfortunately, I can see the link between this behavior and the depression and alcoholism. Her self-control, reliability, and common sense are startlingly absent a lot of the time. She is a great kid, but requires more effort to direct, more nurturing, and more reassurance.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the environment can shape a person. I do think that children who display these behaviors are more likely to become alcoholics or participate in risky activities that could get them in trouble with the law. But just because they display these behaviors, doesn't mean that they are destined for that path!
ReplyDeleteI'm curious about how much effect the environment really has on a growing child. A child that comes from a home full of anger and neglect could display more anger, impulsiveness, and risky behavior. However, a child from a home with supportive parents who provide the child with everything they could ever need could also display these behaviors. So what is the determining factor differentiating the two?
thats what I would love to know! what is the determining factor between the two? I came from a very angry household and I definitley understand how a child could exhibit behaviors coming from an envionmrnt like that. I wonder if it is because I'm a single mom and tha absence of a father figure is affecting him more than I realize. I don't know.
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